• Boiled marriage

    Boiled a marriage of ancient Chinese people do not know what is love and marriage, Pangu split heaven and earth, Nu Wa Sky plugging, Dayu flood water blocking.They are not falling in love.Later, Chinese people like to understand something, and out of Hou Yi and Chang E, the Cowherd and Weaver, but it was heaven on earth, on both sides of the Milky Way, see no remote period.So people put emotion and love of hope entrusted to the Buddha and Buddha, and Buddha, Buddha believed in “kinky as culprits, prefer to give great shame”, but also what to do to someone else?Even today, even merciful Goddess of Mercy in the end is male or female yet no clear.The same period of ancient Greece, 阿芙洛蒂特 “leadership” of the love of God who has been a clear division of labor: Eros can produce a shot of love, a love arrow goes out; Xu ink Los control the lust; A Teluo Si people return love; Porthos is giving emotion; Xu door management marry; Oresund Attiyah presided over the birth.What thing between men and women have a “god” tube, ancient Greece and the European people seem to love what you do not need enlightenment, marriage and child rearing educated.  Later, the Chinese people probably understand what I lack, but also began to promote from the “caring” Come on, such as Confucius: benevolent.Meng Ke: sparse love, like little animals.So they Chuaizhuo own “love” building science museum, disciples, travel around the world, lobbying: to love the same man, love nature, love life, love yourself, love who is full of perfect people, society is full of love perfect society.This statement will get a modern, safe to say that no problems.But at that time, the lack of specific images of the lock, there is no practical way to widely accepted theory is difficult, so that the nations of the kings of listening to all iffy.And then later the Qin Shi Huang Tao Gu annoying: Who is to say a kill a love caught!Scared “Confucius, Mencius” were hiding, struggling to escape.  Just to achieve a unified sense geographically from the Chinese people pushed into the cold, indifferent situation, men and women form a family is a continuation of incense, the family line, meaning the whole I do not know what love is, what love is.So Chinese-style marriage has become a dead-chuen, a pool of still water, even if this meant someone point out the idea, Lan slightly off, but look at the neighbors, the anterior chamber and the backyard are very calm, firm and secure, alas , forget it, do not the whole thing.Finally, Xiang Yu had a written record of this upright forthright, poor planning of man, on a sum of heavy emotional ode to the history books China, steel frame Rouchang of “Farewell My Concubine” almost dumped Chinese audience, but the play when performing abroad, translated title of the play was in trouble, according to the translation of the word meaning simply inexplicable, so it is translated into different countries “gangster farewell wives tales”, “hero and beauty”, “General and Lovers” and so on, although so, let Westerners know the long history of Chinese-style love.  Later, the history and out of a suave, do not love Jiangshan love beauty of the emperor, played Yang play or let “foreigners” who do not understand: “Your wife has several emperors?” ‘Yes, there.’Translator scratched his head skin, which is obviously difficult to accurately answer.  ”Blue Eyes” shrugged: “What is the lady of his people?”” Yes, yes, yes his lover.”Translated finally found the right language.  ”Blue Eyes” puzzled: “Valentine?Why did he kill her lover?”” Because, because he loves her!”Translation and some embarrassed.  ”Blue Eyes” is more confused: “Why kill her love her?” ‘Black eyes’ looking at ‘Blue Eyes’, their hearts are thinking: This is not understand, or did not understand the question.  Ancient love, marriage concept rubbing mingled with a very complex set of factors and secular concept of society, has a strong “Chinese characteristics”, although advocates “When men and married women, once married,” but maintain a variety of ritual of marriage, admonishment was closely guarded, that “marriage should a young man, when older reassembled with the West should be more.””Greece?Thales ‘,’ If you recognize the essence of marriage is cheating, you should go looking for everlasting love for the start of lover.'”Greece?William?Gede Wen “,” mutual study for three weeks in love for three months, arguing for three years, you can endure such a marriage do?””France?Tyne “and 8-9 century philosophers, sociologists love, marriage concept diametrically contrary to split.  Because of love, marriage and the concept of the lack of diversity of thinking, solid operating mechanism is locked in a unified model to show love in front of the Chinese people, marriage is covered with thorns, rugged roads were heavy, there is no danger of conviction, risking his own life to break through consciousness, can not seem happy: Wenjun are attracted Sima, such as the piano and run away; Lilongjina daughter Weifei; red woman ran away from home to find Li Jing; Butterfly Taiwan should wish both butterfly..Only fearless, otherworldly, poignant and even die for love to reach the apex of the glorious love, marriage.  It was with these, Chinese people love, marriage is not a backwater began, the evolution of humanity, thinking, emotions boil, boil, there are cautionary Kai people, bizarre magnificent eternal farewell, but also abandoned the Executive evil good, fickle paradox of brutal tyranny.Two to do anything, we are accustomed to first find a theory as a guide, when read world-class theoretical insights pioneers of love, marriage and found a strange phenomenon, discuss love, marriage guru has chosen the most missed and lifelong marriage, such as Plato, Descartes, Kant, Spinoza, Nietzsche, Schopenhauer.Socrates is an exception, married a shrew 克桑西蒂佩, who was recognized as the wise men in many fields have a brilliant exposition, only reluctantly leaving only some humor in love, marriage, and self-deprecating banter.  If celibacy thinkers are mostly talking about marriage curse and attack, it is “sour grapes” but “eat grapes” did not say “sweet”, visible practice of married life did not able to start them inspiration and wisdom, which in the West is the most widespread myth about a beautiful marriage: in the Garden of Eden reminding us of scenes in Wonderland, Ann Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, God punish them for the sins, which is full of suffering banished into earthly.But they formed a husband and wife, having children in the mundane world, human breeding.”The Bible” records with a story: A long time ago, so-called people are spherical objects, there are two heads, four arms, four legs.Zeus looked at “Man” is not pleasing to the eye, it is a knife to split, after suffering a very “human” is divided into two halves, and eagerly embraced, and who do not want to separate again, they produce marriage.  To the Chinese, the same story is much more bland: “Heaven and earth beginning, Nuwa lead rope cross the mud, give that person.”Chinese people ‘born’ neither love nor marriage, which is why they only responsible for the world, universalist beings, his life for justice, five thousand years of traditional Chinese culture to all Dayu Tale in, Houyisheri threw lover for life regardless of model.  Western god Zeus, Poseidon, Apollo and other gods all have a memorable love, marriage, all queens, many children.China is no God on parents, without children, and even himself, “unknown”, they avoid love, marriage and reproduction of life, away from the respected Red, otherworldly, ascetic, hard practice, so that the spirit of slavery flesh.Our ancestors more civilized than Westerners?But we know that shame?It is the ancient emperors did not have human rights, humanitarian concepts?Let Chinese love, marriage beginning built in numbness, abstinence, closed on the base of repression, desire and spirit can not let harmony, humanity and cultural competition contrary to split, so that the beginning of life into a dead end, so that Chinese people love, marriage concept becomes chaotic fans, Hunran, disorderly, ambiguous.Nevertheless, human nature and instinct can not be denied, romance, marriage is an important one.Psychologist Michael?Mills said: “400 million years ago, the concept of early humans to fall in love lives in the African wilderness is: neurochemical injected into the bloodstream from the brain, so that men and women in silence in the eye.”Later, different elementary education, traditional values, cultural background, creating value orientation of marriage between people of the world, different behavior patterns.From the social significance of speaking, we have given up the idea of marriage as a broad-: stable life, moral norms, fulfillment happy family responsibilities.Both marriage and solidarity, as long as the men and women of the photos on the marriage certificate with a lock symbol, you can not get out of that raised circle, and then dare set foot in “perimeter” meddle “Apricot”, once brought to light, no doubt in marriage Siege popping atomic bomb.A civil servant married a foreign wife, she often steal the show in social situations, men hugging and kissing, made her husband very embarrassed, made accusations, she does not agree: “This is the customs of our country, you have no right to interfere!”Harder to tolerate that foreign wife in the ‘marriage Friends’ other side of the Earth by the overseas telephone call, that she overheard her husband and former lover macabre obscenities, he was furious, but his wife threw your hands up : “this is my freedom of personality!”Get your mother right personality freedom!Intolerable civil servants as a pretext for divorce proceedings in court, foreign wife still threw your hands up: “kissing friends, and lovers do talk also illegal?”The judge asked to live a word, yes ah, there is no such restriction on the terms of the law ah.Bo Yang sent a wonderful theory: “Marriage between East and West are good at change, Western marriage often become both democratic and independent legal, and marriage is very easy to become Eastern tiger claws.”Three cold water to boil, will Gudang somersault; hydrostatic Chung Lan, is a must agitate sediment, when the world economy began to become operational mechanism Datong, wrapping come in a variety of ideas, ways, behavior is also a strong impact, changing China people’s concept of marriage.This change is not just shock and early marriage, trial marriage, bigamy, cohabitation and other surface phenomena, it is important that traditional marriage mode of operation, behavioral approach in the human heart caused commotion, the extension of social problems.  Perhaps many things in China has its particularity, we have a long time stubbornly refused to falling in love, shy manner, as the “sex education” as heretical, when the Western concept of love and marriage overnight poured into the country, this should be right when the “Flower in the Mirror”, do not rush to start, figure out a repeat.But we did not do so, suffering from “thirst for love,” the people a little bit hungry, and all of a sudden come to a full reception, completely copy, not yet had time to taste the taste of love, but suffered the bitter fruit of marriage.  ”Bitter” natural examples or stories do not have to say, and almost any of a literary work, film and television drama has an intuitive portrayal in this regard; “bitter pill” of cause and effect do not have to say, is nothing more than sea McCain talk of God while ethics, conscience human nature, responsibilities and obligations and so that a better understanding of the books and magazines.If further explore this issue, we may wish to listen to a fairy tale: there are scorpions want to cross the river, but it can not swim, to find the frog, said: “Take me across the river it will never sting you.”Frog asked:” If you sting me so?”Scorpion said:” How could it, I sting you, we two together do not be dead!”The Frog think also, so they pack it across the river.Swim to the middle, a big wave called the blanket diagonally frog, scorpion quickly seize the frog, the frog and the scorpion that stung it in, stick out your tongue to the mouth of the scorpion involved, it is also stab at this moment, the lethal scorpion frog in the throat, they sank to the bottom of the river together.  Later, they met two souls, the frog asked the scorpion: “Why do you speak does not count?I was stung on the way?”Scorpion said:” You eat me, or I can sting you do!”Chinese people’s traditional view of marriage on just like the frog and the scorpion, originally ‘ride the same boat’, ‘risk-sharing’ If there is a misunderstanding, friction, disputes, then toss in pay and formulas obtained, the pursuit of the right, the pursuit of balance, equal to the pursuit, the pursuit of corresponding return toss to the extreme and began “a divorce”, even at severely beaten, was destroyed disabled people, a lose-lose.Finally “hit” over the divorce, look back and think about it, did right or wrong?Perhaps no one and no one does right.China there is a well-known story: a man his wife and children in the country do a high official, married a daughter of the emperor.Soon, the country of his wife and her two children came to him, he made money, to many favorable conditions, etc. She did not agree, have to pull the man to return home to live under, forcing men desperation, he sent to kill her, but without success.  So the woman the man will be reported to the official, honest and upright official position Untouchables just met, they cut with a guillotine at the man’s head.Then, a woman and her two children returned to the country.  For centuries, the woman’s encounter popular people of compassion and pity, the behavior of men are cast aside, hate.When translating the story to Europe, foreigners view is the opposite: she destroyed the happiness of man, you got to be a woman.Visible, comprehensive copy the Western love marriage can only be “moved” surface phenomenon, ways and means, “move” people’s mode of thinking, the concept of consciousness is almost impossible.  After all, love is a human desire, marriage is a product of society, both have moral constraints, but also have to maintain the law, love and marriage in the process of accepting new ideas, if any of it is interpreted as a force for “no government” , it will not be content with the moral and legal scope, instinct and desire will be like eruptions of lava difficult to stop, it must be brought confusion, moral dislocation of spirit, devoid of humanity, social unrest.Russell has a four references: “Because marriage and rejected all the love from its side, it means less sensitivity, and compassion as well as a valuable opportunity to contact people.From the best view, this is the best thing in the destruction of human nature, just as all moral contain binding that will contribute to the so-called police life – always looking for opportunities to forbid what point.”At first glance this view somewhat nondescript, seems to promote social morality, truth, morality is very perverse split, but as far as we consciously or unconsciously, overtly or covertly accepted outside the domain of love, marriage and the concept of perspective, just revealed the human heart privacy-sensitive at.Having said that, Chinese people love, marital distress, anguish, remorse, when depressed, mostly toss in grand unified formula, and in the course of the toss, and often could not grasp their needs and values, they are all-out quest to get, few people think about “fate and emotion does not close the door will not open another one,” the truth of life, although his mouth shouting “not the old and new do not come.” factor, but in his heart he was always “cut, and chaotic”, property, children, relatives, organizations, etc. of stir together, make love, marriage became a mass of disarray clue, can not find the chaotic end to end line, coupled with reliance ideology, profit-driven, so many Chinese people the essence of love, marriage, walked into a vicious circle.  28-year-old Li Lan graduated from high school, career ten years in the community, we did not find the ideal job and a husband.One night, she had no intention da stroll to the front of the dance hall in debauchery, down a personable boss from inside a car, tentatively asked her: “Miss, you can come with me to sing a song?”The singing does not matter, just the boss happy dizzy, originally Well, Li Lan school had won the city’s Pop Songs in second place.Then things just as people imagine, Li Lan first boss of “Secretary”, after his wife when.She also has style mansion, car, pointing at the company every day, a large butler.  Can not last, the day the boss is away, the entrance to the 30-year-old woman with children, a rustic rural attire, she claimed to be the boss’s wife, also showed the marriage certificate, almost did not put on the spot Li Lan to gas fainted.The woman was crying and accusing her husband is “Chen Shimei”; Li Lan was crying and accusing her husband is a liar.Cried the lack of, trouble tired, both silent on the TV: how to do?Li Lan, after all, the city is well-informed man, he said to her: “Sister, to date, we both cheated, crying is useless, have to think of a way ah.”” What another way?”Mama’s tears peasant woman.  ”Sister you want, and if things become significant, a court sentenced him to bigamy, you could not take anything I may, and it would be better.”They quickly unity of thinking, understanding was reached: business as usual, just a month to more than 1,000 dollars to rural women.Wait for the boss came and found two wives together talking and laughing, could not believe my eyes.Today’s “fashion”, there is a “can forgive an affair,” saying, understand that if forgiveness is not necessarily a bad thing after rehabilitation, as we understand, like a lot of people’s fault, but in fact they support, encourage forgiveness style, This has resulted in misfortune to marriage and family, to social integrity brought disaster.  Marriage “affair” also called “betrayal”, but the term in some countries in Europe and America have rarely heard, because of their “love” already do not have to “steal” one party has an affair, the other generally can give the true forgiveness in two ways: First, mutual non-interference in their own ways; the second is to pack clothes, said the sound “bye” to break up, they may follow the above simple divorce, it may not necessarily be handed down because they did no married.  If foreigners forgiveness ways to get Chinese people’s emotional activities in the past, it is difficult to promote and achieve.We are “expensive steal, cheat focusing on” cheating partner cheated, stole emotions lie to yourself.In the process of social evolution, it is most in need of spiritual and material reality, the more realistic, more unified human qualities, and everything away from real behavior, is bound to gradually create a split personality, human hypocrisy, social chaos fans.Many people today seem to have recognized the seriousness of the problem, they are not free to marry or not to marry, although this may lead to other social ills, but the conscious mind speaking people say that it is a spiritual clear: low-quality marriages marriage always hopes and demands too far away; just to get married and get married, will not help in a hurry, a rare happy state of mind prone to having an affair.Life should be frank, can not find people to marry, do not marry!I feel fit and he got married, and do not rush to knot.Existing marriages are not satisfied, the best reason to look for reasons, then divorce.Modern life is diverse, no one can stop the invasion of a variety of love, marriage, more penetration, if you want freedom, you can choose not marriage, not to have children, but can not love and sincere!  In addition, people want to protect their love and marriage, you must be ready to plan, to reflect, to modify their values and moral law believe that it remains at a relatively stable state, we can not condone flooding, blocked the way out and do not.Beat around the bush a variety of ways that are a danger, as Maturana said: “The human race is indeed alive by love, but love at any time or indulgence love closed, we will get sick.”Five of human love, marriage development, objectively reflect the progress of social civilization and history, in China, sobbing ghost shaking, shaking the heart of a large number of drag soul love story, and for a long time been praised, admired, to be compared.But the reason awesome soul, they are all experiencing difficult to break through resistance at love, marriage process, insurmountable obstacles, the ancient young men and women if they have a deep love loved, mostly in front of his marriage put up a impregnable fortress, not to put their lives with martyrdom, to die juxtaposition would not solve the problem.So, the marriage of the civilian population there love became superfluous problems, some like to do business, as long as both parties feel the price is right, you can deal.  Even today, sometimes you can hear the hoarse voice yelling: “I am your grandmother into the bridal chamber and only know, life flies do not have very good?You little bastard love a very tough battle all day long, and now clamor to get a divorce?!”In some rural areas, there are” bachelor villages ” saying, Why?Because of poverty, no girl wants to marry a pauper.Later, one of the rural rich, while the rich flag is unmarried man marry a wife.Thin a thought: This is not a mockery of modern civilization do?What is the use of love?You can not love his wife but did not.  Even in the heart of the city, with goodwill, admiration, love substitute for a large number of people, if not love money, not when the room to live, can not eat, do not have much practical value, as long as the right to become, ” right “course, including age, looks moderate, fairly educated, good match and so on, Chinese people’s ‘marriage’ is so future generations ‘knot’ over, the future will continue to recognize this fact, there is no need everywhere posted filled with “romantic” love the label, if the Engels said: “loveless marriage is immoral,” then moved here, it is entirely possible to tamper with: “love is not immoral wife.”Just as people have to eat to drink, like, ‘it is easy to feed hungry, thirsty and easy to drink’, in the case of hunger and thirst, could find ‘eat’, ‘drink’ are delicacies, rain Yulu.  Engels probably said to himself, then a second thought, that does have some defects, it added the sentence: “loveless marriage is immoral.But true love is possible only after there is in the private ownership eliminated.”Zimingqinggao, pious people know ‘Abolition of private property’ in her lifetime short of it, but do not want to admit immoral, have tried to make my marriage does have a faithful love, but a closer one asked, the” love “he has been far from the first Ms. Ren.  ”Mortal” but whether they are, there is no love, morality is not unimportant, it is important first to marry wife!”The more low a person’s thinking, the more vulgar, the easier it is to find the ideal incarnation.”(Germany?Nuo Erda) so mediocre, not very easy to pick picking people ‘love’ on a person, get ‘love’, can also be easily replaced by another person.But lofty ideals, interests elegant, affectionate man who is difficult to meet the ideal, lost it is difficult to replace with another person.  Spain saying Minyan: “Marrying for love of the people, will live in sorrow.”Some may sound contradictory, but very profound deliberation.There is an old Chinese folk tale: a lumberjack mountain wood, an old man found various pieces of wood placed in the street, he will be divided into a set of two pieces of wood, but the shape of each group is different, long with a short, round formulations, with a thin thickness.Woodman surprised, and asked: “What were you doing?”” Oh, I’m married with ah.”Replied the old man.  ”With marriage?”Still a single person to the interest of woodcutter:” You give me too with a right?”” Oh, yes, this is your right.”The old man slowly, pointing to a long, one short two sticks say.  Woodcutter looked, asked: “You mean my wife I want to marry a little man, right?”” Yes ah, this is meant to be.”Woodman made a short stay, I thought: I do not want to be the little man’s wife!So he take advantage of the elderly do not pay attention, it will be their own “marriage” in Flanagan replaced long truncheons.  Shortly thereafter, it was really to protect the media, introduced him to a slender beauty like a girl, lumberjack saw like the incredible, just a few days to be crazy love.Soon they get married weddings.Shortly after their marriage, the woodcutter found his wife’s temper, disposition, and loving yourself is very similar: he liked to drink, and the daughter of alcoholism bigger than him, called him a jar of wine did not drink a few mouthfuls, the jar has bottomed out ; he was a bit cold, more afraid than his wife, prepared a ten-burning firewood, wife five days burned; he did not want the cows, too lazy to feed his wife and more, and once he hit ten days out day laborers, family raised more than twenty cows actually have starved to death.It began more than a year, because he loved her, but also be able to endure, but the course of time, he could bear, and on a piece of paper off the book her back to her family.  Later, they met a lumberjack mountain wood with old marriage, he quietly replaced by another long stick Flanagan own short.Not long we have artificially introduced him to short stature, homely woman, although the Woodman does not love her, but still, and she became close.Woodcutter found marriage day everything changed, simple little daughter diligent, Zhilengzhire, will manage the day at home in good order, so that any problems could not pick Woodman.  Although Woodman sometimes think he had a beautiful wife, but look busy little woman, with a sigh: “Oh, make do it, someone’s life is not so over it!”Yes, happy life and there is no love like can not be compared, marriage is live, as long as the two men to become good.If the ambition of elegance because people do not feel the pain of love and marriage, and that even more people are feeling the pain would not be, because they are realists, for inscrutable, lyrical romantic love never been hoping for.In this sense, the more beautiful vision who love, who’s the greater the pain.  When you say “I love you” when what he really loves it?appearance?Talent?Morality?money?that power.If you put these aside, what you do still love him?It can only be the love of his people.If the aura and then connect with the people shuffled around, you still love him.Well, we do not make this cruel analysis, but you read little louder this time, sleeping in the people around you in a dream, a dream perhaps say: I love you.Six United States has a book called “Men Are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, after the publication of 158 consecutive weeks by “New York Times” column at the top of the bestseller list and was translated into a dozen text distributed throughout the world, it is the reason why have a broad impact, it is the author of John?Gray found an excellent selling point: men and women into conflict when it comes to love and marriage, it will become extremely complex and headaches, and men and women on both Venus on Mars to Earth to live together, environment, character huge differences in ideas, thinking, habits, hobbies, etc., resulting in two kinds of constant conflict, and contradictions and conflicts are eventually accepted and respected each other in resolving.This tells people: men and women are not born opposites, but understanding of things, different ways of thinking, ways and means of treatment, only to understand, to understand the differences between men and women, will be sweet love, marriage will be more durable.  Here is reminiscent of one thing: Former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev held a grand ceremony at Red Square in Moscow, welcomed British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.In the ceremony which, over the sound of roaring Red Square, a small helicopter circled in the air, landed.The presence of police and security personnel alarmed, in tiers surrounded the aircraft, the driver pulled off to have a look, was actually a young student, arguing that: he is a pilot’s school students, to fly a plane He lost his way and had landed here.Police still without any explanation as he put handcuffs.  Thatcher asked: “Why the plane landed here?”Let the Soviet Union stunned the emergency security measures, so that Gorbachev is very embarrassed, he explained:” Yes aviation school students lost their way, I must severely deal with it!”After a child, Margaret Thatcher told Gorbachev:” On behalf of British nationals ask you one thing, you can do?”Gorbachev surprised:” You’re welcome, sir, please speak.”Thatcher said:” I ask you to put the driver’s right, he was a child it.”Gorbachev is very strange, I thought: this has always been to ‘iron hand’ rule of Prime Minister how it treat the person?But because of the sensibilities, he ordered the release of the young man, and agreed not to hold him accountable.  Later, the reporter who reported this matter a lot of pieces, almost all praised the generosity of Margaret Thatcher, kindness.But a marriage expert review it Shique put forward, which is different treatment of men and women the same thing thinking and approach, men want: the plane landed in Red Square, a great contempt for the defense of national security, sin can not be forgiven!The woman was thinking: he was unintentional, I do not have what the consequences, should be exempt from punishment.  So, Kirill?Vasilev analysis in the “love theory” of men and women, was the world many experts agree: “Men like lonely, happy woman clusters; men with the left brain, right brain with a woman; the more sensible men and women heavy feeling; the more vigorous men and women compared with supple; men focus on logic, a woman intuitively; emphasis summarized men and women lay particular stress analysis; men interested in abstract concepts, women are concerned about specific things; a man driven by the feeling, mood dominated by women; a more decisive man, a woman more cautious.”Of course, the difference between man and woman is extremely difficult to generalize the use of words to sum up, but knowing the men and women think, deal with the problem as reflected in the difference, you can avoid unpleasant among many couples this should not have happened.As Balzac in “Memoirs of two young women,” written in: “Love produces happiness, marriage produce human happiness is gone, humanity still exists, so the value of marriage precious than love, want to get a happy marriage, even We need to be forgiving of shortcomings understanding of human nature.”A man is a man, a woman is a woman, a congenital difference in the composition of the unity of opposites, the colorful world that make life fun and vitality.Face differences between men and women, respecting their own characteristics, using the difference between husband and wife, complementary advantages, to achieve harmony between the sexes is a wonderful situation, in order to ensure the quality of marriage.If not, the marriage will be danger, crisis everywhere.  Seven pairs of women say, a man to change his own life, survival, life’s most important people, this is the marriage.With marriage, you have to rely on, no longer lonely, helpless.But in modern times, “marry marry Han Chinese, dressing for dinner” has already become history, many women rely on requirements for marriage from the spirit of the material into the desired.  In the actual marriage, we hear more and more “abuse” of the word: the low quality of the population are mostly cast of violence, it is often high-quality high-level mental abuse.Long indifferent, the cold war is mainly psychological abuse, not to communicate with a spouse in the normal life by ignoring the existence of each other to achieve the purpose of punishment.  On the surface, indifferent, cold war did not resort to force, it is not contradictory intense, very civilized, gentle, under the influence of the outside world is not large, making it difficult for others to determine who is and who is wrong.In fact, the normal communication, communication channels are closed, to solve problems, resolve conflicts are a big obstacle, very easy to “internal” upgraded to “the enemy”.  Although marriage is not a business, but it also requires “management”.Marriage on the rocks, the reason is no “management” Well, it is conceivable that a person at home, just like an orphan, will feel that there is no marriage does not matter.Know how to “run” the marriage of people are generally “Memory” great, willingly in the family when the “hard” and lack of “management” of human consciousness was quick to remove the program, reinstall the system, causing crashes marriage.  It was suggested that a saying: marriage, make eyes widened; married to an eye, close one eye, because no matter wide open a few eyes can not see marriage.The other was found to conceal the whereabouts of his reasons: “I’m afraid you worry about, so did not dare tell you.”Caught in a lie, his excuse was:” Do you suspect so heavy, and you do not want to just say that I dispute.”Excuse to see through, his rhetoric is:” is a matter of indifference, explain why.”So, the marriage appeared in ‘gray area’, here, deception, concealment, lies, push Wei, prevarication and other ‘eighteen weapons’ are useless, unhappy marriage would be a reason for excitement, and become extramarital hope to meet the requirements, it will tend to run out of steam, it became silent vigorous continuation from the beginning, so that men and women in marriage feel like the snow cuddling heating hedgehog, too far away are too cold, too another tie each other up fast enough.And as long hibernation bears, just wait for them to wake up an eating all the food, but over time as tired of eating delicacies, food could not get any interest in them.  A young couple Cold War, his wife live in a fit of anger on the living room sofa.Husband drunk, returned to the bedroom, locked the door fell asleep.Middle of the night, the man burglary, alerted his wife, she failed to call for help, were killed.The next day sober husband stepped out of the bedroom, is the ruin and death, yin and yang forever separated and repentant.Then to here, that our ancestors “husband and wife does not stay overnight hatred”, “fight end of the bed and the bedside,” the admonition inclusive of how much wisdom!Partner is their own choice, there is nothing less than face wipe admit.  Originally thought marriage would be a sense of heaven and earth, unparalleled in the world, the operation is so dull indifference, thinking love can soothe the trauma, the result is difficult to compensate for the lack of passion, after the novelty had worn off and found him (her) body as much so many unbearable problems.So marriage was often appears Alternative Valentine: Valentine.The beginning is the most considerate lover, there is lots to talk about words, will be invited to go to the finish, all interests, hobbies, ideas are surprisingly consistent, we believe they have found a true soul mate.In fact, this feeling is generated due to the distance, you are not in love with him, but “fell in love with love.”.Lover like hunting, is to meet the process, once the prey hand, then it will not waste too much time and effort in the other body, it becomes vulgar, forgetful, lazy.The best result is the lover of silent ending, I see these, you should win their hearts and home, to re-learn to cherish.  Chinese-style marriage, should be the man boat, helmsman woman is, the larger the ship, the more rewarding the woman, the greater the storm, the more room for this woman.Even if the “stranded” or “leakage” occurs, do not easily abandon ship and flee.Married for a long time for people who like their spouse the other hand, we are used to it naturally can not do without.This is probably why so many couples do not know what love was able to live in harmony of the whole story, but not good “management” of marriage, you’ll never figure out where the lifeboat.  Marriage emotional needs to warm up, when dealing with family issues belated reaction to slower reaction made it crack shot, eyes closed, even if such a marriage would not run away from the goal.  Marriage is a beautiful park and want to breathe fresh air, stroll too tired to be outside, but never hired foreign “gardener”, if to a “enthusiastically” to help you “grow flowers and grass”, it in the door to say “thank you” it.  Eight original purpose of marriage is to enjoy lasting pleasure and sweetness, is not to increase the burden and cumbersome.In fact, this is the good wishes of family formation will occur throughout the life of structural change: contact the outside world the role of the conversion, with no need free material for juggling wide range of large, protracted responsibility obligations.When these complicated chores overwhelming coming in, had a dream poem, such as wine, passion flower as if withered, evaporation, and that love is like the Garden of Eden seduced Eve to eat the forbidden fruit of the snakes, which fool the crazy men love women into marriage abdicated, the target turned to clouds and rain did not know the guy Way.  The marriage did not affectionate, not a romance, lyrical romance did not, just mechanically repeat again and again all the original behavior all have life, and even each “repeat” routine seems to complete the task.Which marriage, how do you?He grabbed a “how to cultivate marital relations” Look: “.Husband and wife should always go shopping together, listen to music, watch movies, we often have to change a closed environment, such as talk to the park, to the hotel dining.”nonsense!All nonsense!Today’s Market “shopping” can afford to do, not what sets of clothes eight thousand children?Listening to music, watching movies?Home ready-made set of VCD, DVD lazy to move, at home are none, do what the park go ah?To the hotel for dinner?Meal two hundred, at which you pay?!  This feeling rich, delicate people, really very cruel, very sorry, but the meaning of marriage elevated to a certain height, it can be said that the most important link of the marital relationship is not love, nor feelings, but a wide range of compatibility and mutual maintenance of seriousness, it will be the couple’s interest, awareness, integration of mind, actually show a marriage is finished the stage of romance, into the essence of married life, let life was It was no wind, no waves, dull and quiet, which should be the highest state of marriage.Chinese people called the world a model of pragmatism, since married, for romance, for romantic but also no time, no interest, no feeling.It was found on the street walking men and women in a rule: move neck hug the waist is taking the couple; lover is to go hand in hand; side by side go of colleagues; one after taking a couple.It would really reminiscent of a fairy tale: a dog asked its mother: “Mom, what is love?”Mother said:” Love is the tip of your tail.”So every day the dog tried to bite its own tail tip, to be loved.It may get dizzy around that they can not succeed.  Puppy has to ask: “Mom, why I could not catch ah love?”Mother said:” Baby, you just looked up and move forward, love will always follow you.”For couples, the need is not required in public ‘move neck hug the waist’ affectionate ‘hand in hand’ Romantic difficult final theory, which is how coordination between husband and wife thing, but it should be recognized that this is not because the” old lady old wife, and romance too sour, “but because full, busy life squeezed out of romance and romantic time effort.  Chinese people are particularly envious of kissing couple in front of foreign films to work, but they want to turn the operating surplus and feel.Express feelings between husband and wife is a colorful way, as a subtle oriental nation, of course, should also have their own “special”.That love, marriage and I’m tired of talking, that you probably see more tired, in fact, the family is the pot of boiled water, we will love, marriage on the inside ‘cook’, whether to laugh cry Ye Hao, Ye Hao noisy, downtown good, even like as confused puppy “dizzy”, anyway, it does not always quiet no sound, no ripple lonely, always turn the flowers, children bubbling, steaming child, this is what we love ,married family.

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